


well nobody made this war of mine

by DeadPrince



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Agender Character, Bigender Character, F/F, F/M, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 14:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadPrince/pseuds/DeadPrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>snapshots about life, and gender</p>
            </blockquote>





	well nobody made this war of mine

**Author's Note:**

> warning for internalized transphobia in 2.(Chuck) and misgendering and casual transphobia in 1.(Mako), 4.(The Wei Tang Clan) and 7.(Hermann)  
> thanks to Jag for inspiring the Stacker segment  
> there is no newt and the reason is that i am writing a longer fic about xem (so stay tuned)
> 
> beta'd by pethics

 

 

1.it was supposed to be a victory, these shoes

gleaming red, they looked oh so beautiful, and the little cute buckles that she had stared at for days, her face pressed on the glass,

“mom please can i have them”

“no, (name redacted), these are girls’ shoes, i already told you a hundred times”

and this time mom gives up and goes into the store, and five minutes later the gigantic tail swipes her up and leaves her body broken in two on the pavement  
and the red shoes aren’t so polished anymore, and the right one hurt so much and the monster is behind her, wetting its lips at the taste of her fear

but then he comes, and at that one moment, all is well

 

 

2.he hates him for not saving his mother, he hates him for never having been there and he hates him for coming out of his womb, for the similarities and for the disease he passed onto him

years later, she is in one of the girl days, and when she fights raleigh, she feels invincible, generations of wayward broken-toothed women behind her; she is going to call her a bitch if she damn well wants

 

 

3.after the long hours, when he finally returns to his bunk, he undoes the bowtie, unbuttons the shirt, removes his binder, sticky and gross after a day of running around

finally, he kneels, and untying the beads, prays for another day

then, it’s time to plan his outfit for tomorrow

 

 

4\. they are people of secrets though they are outgoing  
the others think they are identical, but they revel in the dissimilarities and the secret names they have for each other  
they are people of secrets, but if you call them “the wei tang boys” they will break your teeth until all you can say is “the wei tang triplets”

 

 

5.moving to the beat in the strobe lights, you are interchangeable bodies, bodies that trade their names like they trade the hair dye and the red lipstick  
today one of you is a slender man with the most cutting glare you will ever see and one is a bearded woman towering behind him, daring you to say anything about the way they are dressed  
tomorrow they will be the two women that pilot cherno alpha with the determination of their souls intertwined, and then the boys against the shitty wall of their room, panting as they move in sync

what they will always be is those people dancing until they can’t breathe, because what is life if you cannot dance, fight and fuck

 

 

6.it’s when you first drift with your brother that you understand  
there is something in him that isn’t in you and it’s not made of the football matches you watched together, cold beer on the ratty couch, or the girls with bright laughs you fucked  
you feel like a fool because all those years you thought the space was normal, that people were boys only because of the way they were born

when you both emerge, confused and changed forever, his look says « i understand » and his tightened hand on your shoulder stays longer than it should

 

 

7.they never go easy on the others; they never go easy on themselves

sometimes the screeching on the chalkboard reminds them of the time in the back of their mind when someone called them by their old name  
their parents at dinners, saying “it’s not our fault, we need time to adjust” and the time turning into weeks, into months and years

the screeching is not pleasant but it is a mark of who they are

 

 

8.stacker pentecost is marshall stacker pentecost, in charge of the last remnants of the pan pacific defense corps and gender is a thing too difficult and messy to ponder on in a war

but sometimes mako will force him to sit down, to take a break, “not for him but because she needs it”, and he is grateful for the excuse toss believe in  
what she tells him about her and it means he has to tell her about him or that’s not fair is it  
and he thinks of daughters, and blessings

 

 


End file.
